If you give your mom a robe

If you give your mom a robe….make sure you keep the receipt.

She will want to try it on to see if it looks good, even though technically no one will see her in it. She will hate the color, even though the color she actually wants does not exist. She will bend over to see if the hem is straight, which bending over will ensure that the hem will in fact NOT be straight and there will be much ado about quality.

She will twist around to see all angles of the fluffy, green robe that you searched high-and-low for. Nevermind the fact that you found the very last one being sold on earth and it was even on clearance and you found three matching nightgowns that were also on clearance. Your money that you earned babysitting screaming kids is irrelevant if you give your mom a robe.

She will ask your opinion on how she looks. Granted, she has tried on the robe over her big sweatshirt and jeans. She looks like a fluffy, over-stuffed Eskimo, but you don't want to return the robe that you searched 10 stores for, so you say it looks comfy. She won't believe you.

She will ask dad how it looks, and you will look at him and give him the pleading puppy face. He will chuckle and say, "I love you in anything." She decides to keep the robe.

The next day, you will be woken up by your dad and instructed to return the robe. If you give your mom a robe, make sure it's purple and slimming and the hem is straight and it looks good at every angle and it can be worn inside out and still look good.

If you give your mom a robe, make sure you keep the receipt.